Stepping Out Blog

How To Stop Being Shy (And Meet New People)


Being shy and trying to meet new people can be really intimidating sometimes. You begin to feel uncomfortable, you constantly feel stuck for words, and you just want to hide in a corner away from everyone.

But meeting new people is something that we should all do more. It helps build confidence, it helps you find work, move forward in your career, learn, and more.

But don’t worry about how to get this done, because we have some solutions. Here’s how to overcome shyness in five easy steps.

1. Aim to Make Other People Comfortable.

By aiming to make someone else feel comfortable, you really do take the pressure away from yourself. And, it allows you to create empathy with the person that you are talking to, since you are, in a way, putting yourself in their shoes.

But the best thing about this step, is that it encourages you to start thinking that you are not the only one who feels uncomfortable in social situations. With practice, you’ll quickly learn that those who appear to be confident were once shy individuals. No one is born confident.

2. Smile & Be Happy

Putting on a genuinely warm smile will automatically allow you to connect with people at an instant.No one wants to see a miserable face.

What you need to remember is that you have to be happy from within, and that will help you put on a genuine smile.

Word of caution though. Never put on a fake smile. You may not know this, but some people can easily spot a fake smile. There’s even an article about it which you can read by clicking here.

3. Focus On Being Present.

Your mind is a funny thing. It comes up with different thoughts and likes to go wandering so that it can come up with, well, new thoughts. Now a wandering mind is really bad, especially when it comes to meeting new people. And that is because you are giving an impression of not being interested or (even worse) ignorant. How would you feel if you were talking to someone who was not fully engaged with you have to say? Exactly!

But there is a way to counteract a wandering mind and that is by focusing on what is happening now.

People who are shy tend to struggle to come up with new conversation ideas only because they constantly thinking about what to say. By being focussed on the present, you automatically stop your mind from wandering so you can start to appreciate the conversation that you are having with person in front you.

4. Learn To Listen

Following on from the previous point on focussing on the present, by preventing your mind from wandering, you will be able to fully appreciate the conversation that you are having. And in doing so, you will become a better listener.

You see, people like to talk about themselves and they want to be heard, so that they can feel appreciated. By listening to them attentively, you are already creating a degree of trust.

5. Ask Questions (But Not Too Many)

The big secret of being a great conversationalist is allowing the other person to speak more and encourage them to feel good about themselves. You can achieve this by asking questions about their interests and the topic of conversation.

For example, if your conversation is about football but you have no idea about the sport itself, you can ask questions like “I see you like your football, but since I don’t follow it that much, are you able to explain what the offside rule is?” and “how many live games have you seen? And what’s the atmosphere like inside the stadium?”

By asking these types of questions, you get to learn about their interest and build rapport. But don’t ask too many, because that’s just annoying!


These five tips will help you become a more sociable person and a better conversationalist.

Know a young person struggling to overcome shyness and other issues? Stepping Out, based in London, offers semi independent living services, with years of experience helping young people.

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